ramblings

Cancer can kiss my…

Posted by Nat on Oct 4, 2010 | 9 comments

Cancer sucks.  Cancer can bite me.  For reals.

(If you’d like, feel free to scroll to the bottom to see pictures- I got lots to say.) 🙂

I’ve been debating about whether or not to post about this project because it’s a bit personal for someone, and the someone isn’t me.   But the thought of not sharing this doesn’t sit well with me either, so I’m going to post in hopes that my project might help other people dealing with the same thing, and that they will be able to copy my project in their own way.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer in the last few weeks.  It’s an aggressive form of cancer, one that requires immediate surgery and treatment.  This friend is about my age- mid-30-something.  A beautiful family, a beautiful life, a beautiful woman.  And lo and behold, here comes the big C word to throw everything to a screeching halt.  To protect her privacy and her family’s, I won’t mention how I know this woman or her name- it’s really her story.  But I was still totally thrown by her diagnosis, perhaps because it really hit home that cancer doesn’t give a flying flip if you’re 4, 14, 40, or any age.  And because of that, cancer can kiss my ass.

After my friend was diagnosed I found myself in a place that I bet a lot of people have been: “What do I do?  What do I say?  How can I possibly make this better when it sucks so completely?”  I literally could not sleep the day I found out, even though I hadn’t spoken to this friend since earlier in the summer.  For a while I tossed in bed that night, and then as this idea came to me, the hairs on my neck stood up, and chills went from my shoulders down to my wrists.  I had a plan.

My apologies for not taking many pictures as I went, but as I made these canvases I also had family in town (my parents) and we had already planned a weekend trip amidst me trying to collect materials.  I was lucky to finish it in time for it to be with her when she comes out of surgery (hopefully) and is recovering.

I wanted my friend to know how many people were supporting her.  I sent out messages for all to write words- personal messages, inspirational quotes, whatever they felt comfortable with.  I collected all of these messages and then typed them up in various fonts that seemed to fit.  I had a lot of fun in Photoshop and learned a lot along the way.

I ended up needing 3 canvases.  I wanted the center one to stand out, so I searched online for a graphic design of a heart.  Then I painted my own simplified version using the colors I had chosen.  I outlined a heart on the canvas and then painted around it.  Then I filled in with white.  These are acrylic paints that I used.

(many apologies for the quality- some of these were taken at night)

I painted the other two canvases a teal color.   After they dried overnight I took the messages that I had already printed in various fonts and colors of paper and started to fit them all together like a puzzle.  I am only showing shots of the three complete canvases and up close shots of the quotes that turned out well.  I tried to keep the personal messages on the pastels and the single words and quotes on grays, with a little variation.  Below are some shots of the final product(s):

I used foam squares to give them some dimension, lifting some pieces above others.  This proved helpful with fitting things together- sometimes I need to tuck things underneath others, but I didn’t want anyone’s message to be blocked..

A friend wrote the verse on the right in this one (above).  Ikaika & Lanakila are two Polynesian words for “strength” and “conquer.”  I loved what this friend wrote and made it the center piece of the center canvas.  I think if I were fighting this fight I would want to be reminded of those two words often.

I love all of these fonts.  I’m a font addict.  I’ve been getting my fonts at dafont.com.

I made sure to use Mod Podge Paper so that the paper is preserved, and then I finished with Mod Podge Matte.  The paper elevated on the foam squares did curl a bit- perhaps I should have mounted the raised pieces on wood or something, but I actually ended up liking the way it turned out.

My hope is that if anyone you know is diagnosed with anything horrible- cancer or otherwise- that you might be inspired to make something for them.  I know that my friend will appreciate this, and I hope that in a couple of years, when she has kicked cancer’s ass that she can still look at these and remember that she wasn’t fighting alone- she had lots and lots of people fighting with her.

A Journey and a Pillow

Posted by Nat on Sep 8, 2010 | 3 comments

I have begun a journey that I know will end on June 17, 2011.  I have begun my final year of teaching.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I still like teaching in the moments with my students- I love giving children joyful experiences through music, I love the teachers I work with, and I think if I have a traditional job, I want it to be teaching.  But my life has become one that I see needing a non-traditional scenario.  I watch hundreds of moms throughout the week picking up their kids from school and walking home with them, and realize that I want to be that mom.  I want to be able to pick my kids up from school, I want to be there when they have a bad day so I can give hugs and homemade cookies.  I want to be there for them- it’s the most important thing.  And so, with this realization last year, I told my husband and my principal (in reverse order) that this is my last year of teaching.  I needed to name it and speak it in order for it to happen.  That, coupled with my newfound love of sewing and creating things with love has instilled in me a lot of hope.  I have no idea if we’ll be able to “make it” without me working.  Rather, I’m sure we’ll “make it” but it will be a different kind of life.  But it’s the life I want; my current life is hard to handle on a day-to-day basis.  I can’t keep up with myself, my kids, my relationships…. the list goes on.  I don’t handle being two people well.  I want to be a good teacher, but it’s more important to me to be a good mom than anything else.

This blog is going to be sporadic while I’m working- I hope to keep up with posts.  I am for sure unable to stop sewing- even if I want to take a break, an idea comes to me and I make it or else it eats at me.  I’m also addicted to giving things I make to family and friends- it’s so much fun.   So I hope that those of you who are reading this blog consistently stick with me- I can’t wait until I can consider myself a true SAHM and a full time blogger/crafter.  I fantasize about it.  No really.  I do.

On to one of my latest projects.  I posted here about my duvet cover that I made.  Yeesh- I can’t believe I made that thing.  I needed to finish it off with an accent pillow, so here it is:

It’s that little green thing in the middle of the two white pillows.

To make the slipcover for this accent pillow, I followed this tutorial at Cottage Magpie that I found while hunting for tutorials.  (That, by the way, is an addiction in and of itself.)  This tutorial is GREAT- I wouldn’t change anything.  I will probably never buy pillows ever again- it’s so much easier to pick your own fabric and make exactly what you want.

My pillow is 14×14 and a bit chubby, and because I wanted the fit to be just right I cut the fabric to be 15.5×15.5.  This gave me plenty of wiggle room, and since the cotton is nice and crisp, it looks great.   The only thing I did differently was the back two pieces are slightly bigger than what is recommended in the tutorial because I didn’t want there to be any pillow showing.  So my two back pieces were 15.5 x 10.5.  This gives you a nice, flat overlap in the back.

Here are some closeups:

It’s amazing what a little pillow can do!  Now if we could just get the rest of the room finished…

Martha! I Made It! (…or, I made more of it.)

Posted by Nat on Aug 26, 2010 | 4 comments

This is a continuation of my original post in this series.  I made some baby shoes way back when for Miss Clare.  Then another friend of mine came to mind because she has a little girl about the same age, “V.”

When I made the first pair of shoes I was quite excited to make them.  They were easy and quick.  I also noted, however, that the buttons were hard to do when they were on Miss Clare’s kicking feet, so this time I decided to do snaps and elastics to give them a whirl.  What did I learn?  I hate sewing on snaps and I hate sewing elastic.

In Martha’s book they show the shoes with these perfectly sewn squares on the elastic.  Can anyone tell me how they did that?  Impossible. And the snaps?  Oh, the snaps. They took forever, too.  Once I finally got them on I was also left with ugly shoes, so I had to get a bit creative and cute them up.  Here’s the finished product (I made two sizes since V’s measurements were a bit bigger than Clare’s):

And here’s a picture of the pink ones on Miss V’s feet:

I just love the heart on the bottom.  And I put hearts over the snaps- that was part of the “cute them up” I was mentioning.  My other feat with this project was sewing on the rick rack.  In the book they tell you to use fabric glue.  Using fabric glue on baby rick rack is like ironing a noodle.  It’s very unproductive.  So I sewed them on very carefully and it turned out much better.

My other accomplishment with this was that I altered the pattern in Photoshop to make them bigger for Miss V.  Lots of accomplishments for such a small project.

In other news, I am back to work.  Meh.  So I will be posting less, I’m sure, though I can’t seem to stop sewing.  On our first day we had to write what we needed to “let go of” on a paper plate and throw it in the trash. As we threw it away we were supposed to tell the rest of the group what was on the plate.  My plate said, “I’d rather be sewing.”  I made more pouches of my own design, so I’ll have photos of those up soon.

If you are awaiting paper from my post on the Beer Makeover, I am going to mail them tomorrow!

I am officially rambling, so I’ll sign off for now.  🙂

An Obsession? Perhaps.

Posted by Nat on Aug 18, 2010 | 2 comments

I bought some fabric a while ago.  If you’re reading this post at my actual site then you’re looking at the fabric because it’s in my background.  I bought too much, for sure.  I still have tons and tons left.   That’s a good problem, though.

Many moons ago I found Noodlehead.   I just have to point out, even though I’ve already mentioned it on my “About Nat” page, that my name is Natalie and my daughter’s name is Anna.  Noodlehead is done by Anna (who just made an awesome dress) and her daughter’s name is Natalie.  Neat, huh? 🙂

I found Noodlehead via my friend Kari of Handmade Mommy.  Kari posted about doing Anna’s tutorial on L’il Cutie Pouches, and how they helped her overcome zipper anxiety.  “Zipper anxiety?” I wondered to myself.  “What’s zipper anxiety?”  I recognized what a great little thing they’d be to have around, though, so I got some zippers (okay, a lot of zippers) and set to work.

I decided to make one just to try it out, and then I’d make more if I didn’t break my machine.

Moment of hilarity:  I followed Anna’s tutorial precisely- it’s very well done.  But once it came time to sew around the perimeter of the pouch I froze.  “How do I go over the zipper?  Can you sew over a zipper?”  Enter:   zipper anxiety.  So what do I do?  I called Kari, of course.

Kari, who was busy building a volcano with one of her adorable boys, took the time to say, “You’ll be fine.  Just hand crank your needle through it and you’ll be fine.”  “Okay,” I said, while in my head thinking, “For reals?  I can sew over a zipper?”  And yes, my friends, you CAN.  It was fine.  Though if Kari had not told me to do it by cranking my needle by hand I think I probably would have broken something.

So after I made the first one, I cut oodles of fabric up (cutting takes forever!) and I made some more.

Okay, I made 11.

I’m officially the SWF (Single White Female) of sewing.  But later today, I am going to my first meeting of the school year and I’m dreading it.  It will give us at least a few moments of fun when I plop these on the table and let everyone pick one.

See the red, white & blue pouch?  That one is special.  A friend of ours recently got her U.S. citizenship finalized and will be sworn in this month.  I’m so excited for her, so I made her a little patriotic pouch to help celebrate.

p.s.  Like the little lion?  He’s probably older than me.  He used to be in a drawer in my grandparents’ house that we’d play with during our visits. Anna loves him now.  I just think he’s adorable and it’s amazing he still works.

p.p.s.  I have no idea what’s going on with my quotation marks.  It’s driving me crazy.

Closing question (if you sew):  How much fabric do you buy if you see something you like but don’t have an intended project yet? I need some guidelines!

Don’t forget about my giveaway! It ends on Friday- hope you can take a moment to leave a comment to enter!  Click here to check it out.

31DBB Day 25: Ask a Question

Posted by Nat on Aug 16, 2010 | 6 comments

Some of my friends who read this blog regularly (I love them for that) may be wondering how this little huge blog challenge I’m doing is going.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click that little button on the right (under the subscribe button) and you’ll find out what I’m talking about.

Well…technically today is day 29 and I’m working on Day 25.  I’m behind.  But I’m not quitting- just catching up.  Whew!  It’s been a challenge in many ways, but mostly just keeping tabs on everything in addition to daily life has been the biggest one.  I did decide to switch my domain over, revamp the theme a bit, and do some other background stuff that no one will ever see that took a ton of time.  But I’m proud of doing this challenge- it pushed me just like my trainer pushed me in my pre-marriage & mommy days.

Day 25 Day’s task is to ask a question, and my question is a simple one:  how do you stay true to yourself and who you are? I’ve seen lots of blog moms post about this lately.  Blogging can give readers a sense that people are more than they are.  Take Design Mom, an extremely successful woman with 6, count ’em, 6 kids (who are gorgeous).  I was reading her blog, clicking page after page, oohing and aaahhhing, and thinking, “Oh my LORD this woman is Super Woman!”  Then I started getting down on my own situation- my house isn’t perfect enough, my wardrobe isn’t cool enough, I’m not wearing enough makeup and I certainly haven’t gotten far enough with my crafting yet.  Then I clicked Design Mom’s FAQ page and found this little tidbit, which really resonated with me:

“…And the answer is: I don’t. Not even close. In fact, on some level, I believe the whole idea is a myth. If my blog is really good on a given week, then you can bet my house is a wreck. If my blog seems a little bleh, then it’s guaranteed we’ve got a lot going on at home. If you know me in real life, then you know I work in my pjs as often as possible and that I’m a very typical mom. As each new child joins our family, I have to learn to be a more flexible and lower my expectations another notch.

…One more thing. Please keep in mind that on this blog I attempt to keep things very positive and showcase the best and prettiest things happening in my life. That doesn’t mean there aren’t bad days and failed projects and lost tempers. At the end of the day, blogs are a show. I suppose that’s why we like them so much.”

It made me feel so much better.  And it got me to thinking that blogging, while amazing, is misleading.  We see all of these wonderful things, but as Gabrielle points out, people rarely blog about the real stuff.  Blogging is, for me, one way to see the good things in my life, and to make good things in my life.  It would be easy, though, to get lost in comparison and start feeling like you don’t measure up.

So, how do you stay true to yourself? Do you limit your blog-self to a certain amount of blogging per day?  Do you ride the different waves of life and take it as it comes or plan it out to keep it sane?

For me, I try to remember that while I truly love this new blog (and have completely neglected my family blog and family photos this summer), I have to take a breather or it gets the best of me.  I’ve asked my husband to keep me in check.  School is starting soon, and then my time to craft/sew/create will be even more limited by the fact that I have to bring home a paycheck for another 9 months.  I do worry about balancing all of this, but it will all work out in the end- it always does.  I have to focus on life day-by-day, and not get wrapped up in the politics of teaching or who I need to please.  Other than planning doctor appointments and social dates, I have no long term goals mapped out on a calendar.  Maybe that needs to change, but right now I’m doing good just keeping up.  I need to please myself, my kids and my husband, and everything else is small potatoes.

I bought a ring recently- I can’t wait to get it in the mail.  It says, “Be true to your dreams.”  That is going to be my mantra this year as I set out to start a creative life and finish my teaching life, if only for a while.

I’d love to hear how you stay true to who you are in your day-to-day life.  Any tricks?  Words of wisdom?  Little vignettes to share?  Post ’em here- I’d love to do a recap!

p.s.  Did you enter for my first giveaway?  No?  Click here– you have until Friday the 20th!  I’ll announce the winner on Saturday!

Fuzz Patrol

Posted by Nat on Aug 12, 2010 | 2 comments

I realize that sewing machine maintenance is not the most amazing thing to post about, but it might help someone out, so I thought I’d post just in case.

I was having some problems with my sewing machine.  It kept jamming the thread when I was sewing simple things, and it was getting quite frustrating.  I emailed my friend Kari at Handmade Mommy to see if she had any thoughts on why it would be jamming up.  I call Kari when I really need help- I feel so lucky to have a friend who is not only smarter than me about sewing but also generous in sharing her knowledge.  Kari suggested I try a new needle, but I already had a new needle, so at least I knew that couldn’t be it.  Then I had a revolutionary thought:  consult the manual.

I pulled it out and looked in the back.  I love manuals that are written by people who don’t speak English.  They crack me up.   Thankfully this part of my manual is very well done (most of it is, really).  It said to clean things up a bit, so I flipped to the section that told me how to take off the needle plate and opened up my machine.  I laughed heartily when I took it off because this is what I saw (sorry for the big photos, but I thought it would be nice to see how bad it was in there!):

Then, when I removed the bobbin case, THIS is what I saw:

No wonder I was having problems!  And do you recognize that color?  Gee, I wonder if all of that copper-colored lint might have come from this project.  I used a small, soft paint brush (with no paint, of course) to get all of the lint out.  Now it runs like a champ.  Here’s the cleaned up “after” photo:

Much better!  I imagine one is supposed to do this often, so I will be checking underneath my machine’s “hood” a little bit more frequently.  Hope this is helpful to all my fellow sewers!

Eek!  Update:  I emailed Chris at Pick Up Some Creativity and shared my post with her.  She then so nicely posted this on her blog- I’m in a list with some pretty amazing bloggers!  Thanks, Chris!