Happiness Project

Chronically Distracted Link Up: Love & Marriage

Posted by Nat on Apr 26, 2012 | 3 comments

I’m quickly going to link-up to Chronically Distracted, the Happiness Project gals.  This month is about love & marriage.  I could choose from three prompts, and I am choosing the first, “What makes a happily married couple?”

I’m going to try to not make anyone puke- really.  Because if there’s anything I’m certain of in my life, it’s that I have found the man for me.  We are {happily married} x {a billion}.  I love my man and he loves me.  TLF.

{Did you puke yet?  Sorry.}

When I look back on all of the dating I did before I met Michael (and oh, my, how much dating there was), it’s interesting.  Especially now that we’ve been married 6.5 years, have three kids, and are still going strong.  Each of the men I dated exclusively, regardless of how long, had qualities that somehow led to the end of our relationships.  Ending a relationship is hard and very-not-fun.  But when I look back on each of those guys and think about the things I DID like about them…. Michael is each of those things and more.  He is the complete package for me.

I digress.  What makes a happily married couple.  Focus.

I think that there are so many things, but what it comes down to is… you have to not just love the person, you have to really, really like them and respect them.  Be their hero.  Even when you’d rather do more for yourself or focus on yourself, you put them first.

In our marriage I think Michael is better at that than I am in most cases.  He is the ultimate family man.  He knows that when he comes home from a demanding, challenging job, I need him to jump in and help with our three kids because I’m a little frazzled and need some down time- or at least some time to do one thing uninterrupted, which is impossible with three kids at home.  Our routine when he comes home from work during the week is pretty set.  He walks in the door and the kids jump up to hug and kiss him.  He walks into the kitchen where I am usually cooking dinner and says, “What do you need me to do?”  Every time.  Without fail.  The only exception is when he has a migraine or is sick.

Michael and I do not fight.  We discuss.  He has his MBA, and a big focus in that program, which he finished just before we got married, was negotiation.  It may sound funny, but I think all of his negotiation knowledge has helped more than just his career- it’s helped our marriage.  We rarely disagree on much, but if we do, we find ourselves trying to help each other understand rather than just blowing up and getting angry.  We are also both people pleasers, so we don’t like to argue.

Lastly, and we are getting better at this:  you have to go on dates.  Often.  Our budget is tight these days, but we still spend money on dates, babysitters and the whole 9 yards.  We hold onto the couple we were before our kids, our amazing, beautiful, time-consuming, energy-eating kids came along.  We love all three of them so much, but we also try to focus on the fact that they are here….because we love each other.  If we lose that, we lose a lot.  Plus there’s the fact that unless we go on dates, it’s difficult to have an uninterrupted conversation before 8 p.m.

So that’s my story.  That’s my marriage, or at least a glimpse of it.  This photo below is so special to me.  I love the light, and I love the feeling of it- we’ve just been joined in marriage and are walking out the door into the rest of our lives.  And now that we’re in it- it’s pretty damn good.

My First Date {The Happiness Project}

Posted by Nat on Apr 5, 2012 | 10 comments

I’m linking up today with the ladies at Chronically Distracted and their Happiness Project.  I LOVE the prompt for this week!

{As I type this post my husband is reading bedtime stories to our children.  Love.}

This month we are looking at love.   Our prompt is to write about our first date with the love of our life.  Done!

Michael and I met online.  Catholicmatch.com to be precise.  Before meeting him, I had been doing the online-dating thing for at least 18 months, I think.  Match.com.  CatholicSingles.com.  eHarmony.  Now that we have three kids together it all seems so funny, but in the months before I met him I was so. Tired. Of. Dating.  I have some GREAT crappy date stories.

I told a friend of mine that I was done with online dating, and she encouraged me to continue just a bit longer because she met her husband online, and didn’t want me to give up just yet.  We have her to thank for our marriage, really, because just a few days later, Michael messaged me.

We emailed.  It was nice.  He seemed friendly, and his picture was intriguing (he has a Van Dyke, which I liked). He asked if he could call me, and I said yes.  We talked on the phone a few times, and finally, just before the holiday season started, he asked when he could see me.

Since we were both Catholic and I was playing in my church’s Sunday night choir at the time, I asked him if he’d meet me after mass and we could have dinner.  My memories of that evening are very blurry now.

I remember being so excited to meet him, and taking forever to decide what I was going to wear. I remember playing through mass and wondering where he was, if he could see me while I played .  I remember him coming over afterwards, helping the group tear down our sound equipment.  I liked his smile.  I remember walking to dinner, and him telling me that he didn’t feel well, but he wanted to meet me, so he was powering through.

What I can’t remember: anything we talked about at dinner.

I do remember that I smiled a lot, and we made each other laugh.  We walked the main drag of Pacific Beach after dinner and talked.  He walked me to my car.  I loved that he was so tall.  He seemed incredibly smart and sensitive, in a good way.  We hugged.

About four and a half months later we were engaged.  Six months after that?  Married.  On our honeymoon, which we took over the week of Thanksgiving, we marveled that we had just known each other a year and we were already hitched.

I love my man!

VLOG! Chronically Distracted & the Happiness Project Update

Posted by Nat on Mar 29, 2012 | 1 comment

Helloooo there to all of my friends participating in the Happiness Project!  I am so thankful to these two ladies, Meagan and Wendy, for having such a fabulous blog.  They are awesome.

Check out my video.  It’s a bit long, but I think I make some good points.  And you can also see how my brain works because I birdwalk juuuuuust a wee bit.  That’s okay.  It’s all good.  🙂

For some reason the sound is better than the video- my lips don’t seem to keep up.  Oh well.

Can’t wait to link up and see what others post!

My first guest post! And a getaway.

Posted by Nat on Mar 16, 2012 | Comments Off on My first guest post! And a getaway.

Today is a special day in my blog history!  I am guest posting over at a favorite new spot of mine, Chronically Distracted.  The two lovely ladies who put this place together, Wendy & Maegan, are also the two who introduced me to “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin.  How did I not know about this book?  Apparently I was living under a rock (or raising three kids and had no time to read).   Wendy & Maegan put out a request for guest posts, and I decided to take the leap.  It’s amazing how much harder I work on a post when it’s going up on someone else’s blog- it’s much more nerve-wracking.  So, head on over and get yourself some time-management info!

And lastly, Happy Friday!  I’m so excited about this weekend. My sister, Stephanie is here, and this is what we will be doing most of the weekend:

(click photo for credit)

In PALM FRICKIN’ DESERT, baby.  Yeah.  Uh-huh.

I will likely not post until we’re back, but since the forecast actually calls for rain (in the desert?) we’ve decided that we may geek out on our computers all weekend.  You know you’re a computer geek when the thought of working/playing on your computer uninterrupted for an entire weekend it totally appealing. 🙂

Happy weekend!

A Blogging Brain Adjustment

Posted by Nat on Feb 20, 2012 | 2 comments

Hi friends,

I am in the process of doing lots of little things in order to do one big thing: simplify my life.  I am re-evaluating lots of aspects of my day-to-day routine and world.  How much “stuff” do I really need?  How much time can I devote to different things I want/like/need to do?  These are questions I’m asking, answering, and then moving forward with based on the answers.  It’s shaking things up a bit.  I know the end product will be awesome because I will have less stuff, more focus and (hopefully) more energy.

To add to the mix, my husband and I are laying pavers outside our patio so that we no longer have a mud pit for a play yard for the kids.  I am so excited, and so exhausted at the same time.  This weekend has been a whirlwind of back-breaking work, sweat, laughter, tears, time with just me and my man, missing my kids, and PB&J for dinner because we’re so tired (and also wondering how much money we have left in the bank).  Today is the last day- we have to finish, because tomorrow it’s back to reality, patio or no patio.

And so, then next time you see me will likely be Thursday.  I need a break from posting every day, and that is also something I’m examining- do I really need to post every day?  I’m thinking it’s not sane for me at this current time.

But guess what?!  You will SEE me Thursday because the ladies at Chronically Distracted have assigned a VLOG for our Happiness Project.  My first reaction:  “I need to put on makeup for that.”  My second reaction:  “No way.  Not gonna do it.”  My third reaction:  “Buck up, Nat.  You can do it.”  So, after I figure out the best angle for my face, I will follow through the assignment and you will actually get to see me AND hear me on Thursday.

See you then!

Nat

I have decided it’s too much for me to post every day along with all of the other things I want to accomplish.  For example, this weekend, instead of enjoying our extra day with my husband, we are

Happiness Project

Posted by Nat on Feb 9, 2012 | 1 comment

I’ve decided to join up with a great new blog, Chronically Distracted.  These ladies say in their elevator pitch:

“We’re two moms trying to strike a balance between family, fun, and friendship. We believe we represent, truly represent, a lot of parents out there who want to do and be everything but some days we just don’t have the attention span or patience to balance it all. Are you with us? I’m guessing you are.”

Every Thursday is about The Happiness Project.  Now, in keeping with my theme for 2012, “Keep it Happy,” I simply must participate.  I also love to write, and would like to improve my writing skills.  I think this is a great way to do both.   I’m jumping in a bit late, and have not read the book they are talking about, but I hope to get it soon and catch up.

On Mondays, participants are sent a prompt to write about.  {I could say, “about which to write” but that feels so snooty.}  Then, we post on Thursday and link up.  I can’t wait to see what others write, too!

This week’s prompt:

• Are your day-to-day actions supporting your choices of change (resolutions)?
• Is your MIND propelling you in the direction you want your actions and resolutions to take you?
• If the answer is No, how can you make it happen?