Chronically Distracted Link Up: Love & Marriage

I’m quickly going to link-up to Chronically Distracted, the Happiness Project gals.  This month is about love & marriage.  I could choose from three prompts, and I am choosing the first, “What makes a happily married couple?”

I’m going to try to not make anyone puke- really.  Because if there’s anything I’m certain of in my life, it’s that I have found the man for me.  We are {happily married} x {a billion}.  I love my man and he loves me.  TLF.

{Did you puke yet?  Sorry.}

When I look back on all of the dating I did before I met Michael (and oh, my, how much dating there was), it’s interesting.  Especially now that we’ve been married 6.5 years, have three kids, and are still going strong.  Each of the men I dated exclusively, regardless of how long, had qualities that somehow led to the end of our relationships.  Ending a relationship is hard and very-not-fun.  But when I look back on each of those guys and think about the things I DID like about them…. Michael is each of those things and more.  He is the complete package for me.

I digress.  What makes a happily married couple.  Focus.

I think that there are so many things, but what it comes down to is… you have to not just love the person, you have to really, really like them and respect them.  Be their hero.  Even when you’d rather do more for yourself or focus on yourself, you put them first.

In our marriage I think Michael is better at that than I am in most cases.  He is the ultimate family man.  He knows that when he comes home from a demanding, challenging job, I need him to jump in and help with our three kids because I’m a little frazzled and need some down time- or at least some time to do one thing uninterrupted, which is impossible with three kids at home.  Our routine when he comes home from work during the week is pretty set.  He walks in the door and the kids jump up to hug and kiss him.  He walks into the kitchen where I am usually cooking dinner and says, “What do you need me to do?”  Every time.  Without fail.  The only exception is when he has a migraine or is sick.

Michael and I do not fight.  We discuss.  He has his MBA, and a big focus in that program, which he finished just before we got married, was negotiation.  It may sound funny, but I think all of his negotiation knowledge has helped more than just his career- it’s helped our marriage.  We rarely disagree on much, but if we do, we find ourselves trying to help each other understand rather than just blowing up and getting angry.  We are also both people pleasers, so we don’t like to argue.

Lastly, and we are getting better at this:  you have to go on dates.  Often.  Our budget is tight these days, but we still spend money on dates, babysitters and the whole 9 yards.  We hold onto the couple we were before our kids, our amazing, beautiful, time-consuming, energy-eating kids came along.  We love all three of them so much, but we also try to focus on the fact that they are here….because we love each other.  If we lose that, we lose a lot.  Plus there’s the fact that unless we go on dates, it’s difficult to have an uninterrupted conversation before 8 p.m.

So that’s my story.  That’s my marriage, or at least a glimpse of it.  This photo below is so special to me.  I love the light, and I love the feeling of it- we’ve just been joined in marriage and are walking out the door into the rest of our lives.  And now that we’re in it- it’s pretty damn good.