What is your “awesome”?

(Note:  I’ve come to realize that I really like to write, I have a lot in my noggin, and this is a great place to let it all out.  Those of you who have been around a while may have noticed that I changed my tag from “I fully admit I have no idea what I’m doing” to “Life is crazy. Craft it well.”  I’m shifting the focus of my blog to include many things, not just crafting in a literal sense.  I’m trying to craft a wonderful life for myself and my family.  I hope you’ll enjoy reading in weeks and months to come about how we do just that.  Thanks!)

 “I’m not a teacher anymore.” 

This phrase has gone through my head numerous times since May 13th, when I walked out of my classroom and headed to a farewell happy hour.  I was pregnant with Emily and done.  D-O-N-E done.  My doctor wrote the note, and it was as easy as pie to head out the door.  But I wasn’t just leaving for maternity leave.  Weeks prior I turned in a letter of resignation to my administrative office.  I will not be returning next week the way so many colleagues-who-are-now-just-friends will be.  I am now, “Just a mom.”  And that, my friends, is awesome.  For me.  Would it be awesome for you?

My husband and I worked hard to get to the point where we were ready to jump off of the two-income cliff, down to the one-income plateau.   It’s a huge leap for us.  We tried during the 2008-2009 school year to make a go of living on one income.  I took a leave of absence and got to be at home with the kids, but financially we weren’t quite there.  My heart has been at home since the birth of my daughter, Anna, in 2007, so returning to work after a year of doing what fills my heart was hard.  Two years later and we are making the change we’ve both wanted for our family.

It was interesting, though, once we were sure we could and would make the commitment, to hear people’s reactions to the fact that I was leaving my profession behind.

They ranged from disbelief….

“No!  You’re quitting?!”

“Shut up!  For reals?”

“Can you afford it in this economy?”

…to dismay…

“But you’re such a good teacher…”

“When will you come back?”

…to happiness…

“I’m so happy for you!”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Finally!”

There were many more that tore at my heart strings in both good and bad ways- many I’ve since forgotten, but in the moment were at times hard to hear.  Having so many different reactions to my choice to leave was so interesting.  No one’s reaction truly bothered me, they just made me think.  A lot.

It seems like there is a continual debate about what the “right” choice is for women.  One trend is to have a full-fledged career, work long hours, and show our kids that women can have careers just as big and bold as men.  Another seems to be a “back to basics” trend of having the mom give up that second income and stay home- essentially, what I am doing.   Whether they realized it or not, many people displayed their opinions of what the “right” choice is through their reaction to my departure from my teaching career.  It was fascinating.

What is the right choice?   I think the reason that everyone argues about it so much is that there is no one “right answer” and the only thing that’s tried and true about this issue, regardless of you choice, is this:  parenting is hard work.  If you’re doing it right, then you are exhausted at the end of the day, whether you are a “FTWM,” “SAHM” or “WAHM” (or any other acronym that applies to you).  I admire women who are passionate about their careers, love going to work, and manage to still be there for their children.  I equally admire women who give up their careers to be there for every minute of their kids’ lives, whether they are infants, toddlers, or school-aged kids.  We all make the choices that work for us and our families, and some of us don’t even have a choice in the matter.  I hope that we can eventually reach a place where we aren’t judged by whether we stay home, work, or a combination of the two.  I’d rather be judged by the kind of children I’m raising, working a paid job or not.

What do you think?  Is this debate ever going to go away?  Are we ever going to just appreciate our different life choices or will there always be comparison and judgement?  I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts.